In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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