So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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