Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
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