If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
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