remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
