so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
