Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
