Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
