After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
