I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
