I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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