You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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