i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
