playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Less talking, more tequila
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Randomize
