i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Do vagina's smell?
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
