i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Randomize
