so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
