Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
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