I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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