im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
