I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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