we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
