yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I just googled if crying burns calories
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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