Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
