Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Randomize
