3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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