Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
