he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
