that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
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