I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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