My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize
