i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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