I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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