then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
