your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
