the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
handjob tips. give me some.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
