: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
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