she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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