Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Randomize
