Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Randomize