He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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