I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
