Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize
