Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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