It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
