i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
