Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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