I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Randomize
