Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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