How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
