And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
